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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Lib Dems blame Labour for coalition with Tories

Senior Liberal Democrats have lashed out at the Labour Party over Nick Clegg's reluctant decision to hand David Cameron the keys to Number 10 Downing Street.

"I'm disgusted Labour didn't agree to adopt our entire manifesto as a basis for governing," said A Liberal Democrat Who Wasn't Nick Clegg Or Vince Cable, rumoured to be ear-marked by Cameron as the future Minister for Beards, one of four posts to be created especially so Liberal Democrats can be ministers without actually doing anything. "As a result, we have been forced into accepting the Tories' offer of a half-chewed peanut and a broken Dinky Toy."

In a joint statement, John Redwood and Nadine Dorries said they understood that there were concerns "dinosaurs" in the Parliamentary Labour Party might not accept the compromises necessary for coalition government, and they looked forward to working with their new coalition partners on climate change and reproductive rights.

Former Foreign Secretary Malcolm Rifkind said he was relieved the Liberal Democrats had finally done the honourable thing in putting Cameron into Number 10, after first acting honourably in negotiating with the Tories and then covering themselves in dishonour by negotiating with Labour. "I am glad Mr Clegg has acknowledged our right to rule, so cruelly denied for 13 years," said the veteran Tory, adding, "The lower parties must learn their place."

Meanwhile David Miliband revealed he, and all the other candidates for the Labour leadership, were "saddened" by news of the coalition, before telling anyone who would listen they could quote "senior Labour sources" as being ready to swing behind his campaign just as soon as it was deemed appropriate to start campaigning.


andy amoss said...

Aaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy! He's back! No blog quite like this one! Hope you are well, sir

tim f said...

Thanks. A combination of running out of ideas and increasing busy-ness had led to a dearth of posts. I suspect the inanity of some of the ideas the coalition is coming out with will prompt more posts here (and not working stupid hours any more will help too).

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.