The Provisional BBC is a paramilitary organisation which split from the BBC in October 2006 in protest at its toleration of poor writing and Liberal Democrats. The Provisional BBC regrets any civilian casualties resulting from posts contained within, but lays the blame squarely at the foot of the Tories. It is our duty to resist them, by any and all means necessary.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Labour campaign "wrong to canvass"

The Labour by-election campaign in Crewe has been criticised for canvassing voters.

The controversial activity was used to motivate Labour's core vote, but many people who did no work in the by-election have claimed it was counter-productive, after top Tory Toff David Cameron told them so.

"Now I've never met anyone from Crewe," said someone-or-other who has aspirations to be an MP one day, "but I think it's obvious it was canvassing that alienated voters in this by-election. After all, the Labour Party did more canvassing this time round than we've done in Crewe for decades, and subsequently lost the seat. I'm no logician, but that smacks of a direct causal relationship to me."

Sensible Labour insiders have suggested Tories are scared of the power of the canvassing technique, and are trying to disincentivise Labour from using it in the future by blaming it for the by-election defeat. However, pundits have been quick to point out that Labour are unpopular, and therefore must be wrong.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Labour accused of "telling the truth" in by-election

Labour have been accused of playing politics after calling Conservative candidate in the by-election for Crewe & Nantwich constituency Edward Timpson a "Tory".

Conservative MP Pickled Egg, who is running the Conservative campaign in Crewe, said the "old-style" tactics had "back-fired".

"Labour seem to think that people will vote on the basis of which party they would prefer to run the country. I think we have moved on. I think Britain is a more civilised place than that."

The Labour Party is said to be divided over the campaign, with people who no-one has heard of saying things that no-one can confirm hearing. According to a journalist who thinks he overheard another journalist in a bar somewhere, Labour Party strategists are split between those who think the by-election campaign should appeal to working class people in Crewe, and those who think it should appeal to working class people in southern marginals.

Jon Cruddas, the one-time failed deputy leadership candidate who turned down a government position to concentrate on being a newspaper columnist, said that Labour was making a mistake by pointing out the party affiliation of the Conservative candidate, and if Labour had really wanted to win the by-election it should've waited until after the COMPASS conference, where Neil Lawson would explain what lessons he had learnt from the 2008 elections.

Labour candidate Tamsin Dunwoody defended the campaign, suggesting what party a candidate for election belongs to is "relevant" and a "good pointer to their concerns, experiences and likely future actions".

And she said that getting activists to dress up as zombie Gwynneth Dunwoodys and chant "one of us, one of us, one of us" was just a "visual reminder of the very real differences between myself and Edward Timpson - our surnames".

Coincidentally, journalists have stopped talking about how unpopular Gordon Brown is and the election is no longer being described as a "referendum on Brown".

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.