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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Dorries teams up with Taxpayers Alliance

Tory MP Nadine Dorries and the Taxpayers Alliance have teamed up to offer pregnant teenagers a way of getting straight back to work without "contributing to the genocide of an unborn generation".

Pregnant teenagers who opted not to have an abortion would be offered childcare vouchers which could be redeemed by private mercenaries. Faith-based organisations would be given tax incentives to transform themselves into private sub-contractors. The money would be funded from a reduction in Surestart provision, a "wasteful and inefficient" service "targeted at the poorest", according to the Taxpayers Alliance.

Pregnant rape survivors would be offered extra money if they dropped allegations, which "tie up the legal system with costly cases against otherwise law-abiding men, which rarely result in convictions." The Taxpayers Alliance estimated that for every pound spent on vouchers, three pounds would be saved from unnecessary lawyers' fees.

The scheme would be entirely voluntary, but those who did not opt in would have their benefits cut and council house taken away, cutting welfare rolls and reducing the tax of hard-working millionaires. Labour MP and Housing minister Caroline Flint was said to be so impressed by the idea she was considering defection.

The idea is not yet official Conservative policy, but David Cameron is said to be looking favourably at it. Insiders suggest the move will be part of an "unofficial white paper" in November before becoming Tory policy in March, so that the Tory press can uncritically report it as a new idea three times.

Pro-choice groups described themselves as "outraged", but the government remained silent so Ruth Kelly can get into heaven.

Dorries denied charges of obsessive mania, saying she was a "progressive, pro-choice MP" and "unlinked to any religious organisation", except for the ones who funded her website and would print her leaflets at the next General Election.

Church of England to split

Four senior Anglican bishops have split away from the Church of England to form a rival organisation.

The new "Church of ye olde England" aims to "break the mould of religious organisation", according to co-founder and leader Bishop Nazir-Ali.

Nazir-Ali cited differences over the consecration of female bishops and gay marriage, saying he hoped the Church of ye olde England would have a wider appeal than the old Anglican church, attracting conservative Catholics and evangelicals as well as Anglicans.

The experiment is widely expected to fail, allowing atheists to portray the religious as disunited egotists for ten years, after which any attempt by the Anglican church to claim the centre ground of UK religious life will be spun as a vindication of the splitters' move.

Speculation is mounting that the new group will merge with the Mormons and produce an annual newsletter just before Easter showing themselves kneeling at various UK locations with the claim they are "praying hard all year round".

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.