The Provisional BBC is a paramilitary organisation which split from the BBC in October 2006 in protest at its toleration of poor writing and Liberal Democrats. The Provisional BBC regrets any civilian casualties resulting from posts contained within, but lays the blame squarely at the foot of the Tories. It is our duty to resist them, by any and all means necessary.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Single mothers to blame for global warming, says Cameron

David Cameron has proposed a dedicated levy on single mothers, who he blames for global warming.

The Tory leader used spurious evidence to show that both divorce rates and climate change have advanced rapidly over the last fifty years, and must therefore be linked.

"For every single parent there's another parent who lives on his or her own," said the cokehead, wrongly. "If they lived together they could cook together, watch TV together, use half the energy two people living apart would use. That's why we support marriage, and why we will back it through the tax system."

Mr Cameron stressed that he was not saying single parents do a bad job, just that they were the horsemen of the apocalypse. He wanted to "reform" single parents, not punish them.

"This is a behaviour-changing tax," said the Old Etonian. "It's about forcing people to stay in loveless relationships which damage children, and scapegoating single mothers so people won't blame inequality for society's ills."

Shadow Chancellor George Osborne added that the measure would not cause the overall tax burden to increase, as any rises would be offset by tax cuts for the wealthy.

The Tories also propose the replacement of individual income tax with a flat-rate family unit tax. This would encourage the poor to band together through marriage. "We know what's best for them," explained Cameron.

Families reduced to one parent through legitimate means (diseases not sexually transmitted) would be supported through voluntary donations organised by the Church.

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.