The Provisional BBC is a paramilitary organisation which split from the BBC in October 2006 in protest at its toleration of poor writing and Liberal Democrats. The Provisional BBC regrets any civilian casualties resulting from posts contained within, but lays the blame squarely at the foot of the Tories. It is our duty to resist them, by any and all means necessary.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Parliament to be privatised

The House of Commons could be privatised to pay for rising parliamentary deficits, the Provisional BBC can reveal. Just one week after the Boundary Commission prophesied cuts in the numbers of MPs, campaigners warned our political heritage could be at stake.

The government denies the proposal amounts to privatisation, describing it as a “time-limited lease”. A private company would hire the building for fifty years, committing to repairs and general upkeep. The contractor would then hire the premises back to the country at a profit.

“It’s like getting a mortgage,” said Leader of the Commons Jack Straw. “You avoid pain now and leave it to a future government. The cost will double, leading to cuts in public services and higher taxes, but I’ll have a peerage by then.” He did not explain why a rational individual would get a mortgage if they had other ways of paying for a house.

Prime Minister Tony Blair described Parliament as a “sound investment” for potential contractors. “We will always need a Parliament,” he declared.

Campaigners were against the move, describing it as “privatisation through a gaping hole where the front door ought to be”. They also worried private contractors may add revenue raisers such as a “Parliament Theme Park” or “Hotel Big Ben” unless strict limits were placed on any lease. But their concerns were described as “baseless” by the government, who said they were convinced big business had public interests at heart.

3 comments:

jdc said...

Didn't most of South Yorkshire do this with their Town Halls at some point in the 80s or is that a myth?

The Provisional BBC said...

I don't know, but regardless of any evidence that may be brought to light I'm going to disbelieve you on the grounds that South Yorkshire is the spiritual home of socialism.

Anonymous said...

滿.............................................

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.