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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Cameron reveals plans for fewer black MPs

David Cameron has outlined plans to reduce the number of black, women and homosexual MPs. The trendy environmentalist has drawn up a list of all black people, women and homosexuals in the party, dubbed the "A list".

Party Chairman Francis Maude explained the rationale behind the move. "It used to be that niggers had no chance of getting elected as a Tory MP, because no-one would vote for them at selection meetings. But as our members get older and their eyesight fails, they can't always tell who's black and who's white. It's even more difficult with faggots. This list provides our members with the knowledge they need to make informed decisions."

Conservative activists are reportedly delighted by the news. Mortgage consultant and mother-of-two Christine said "It's about time. Everyone knows Tory voters are less likely to vote for someone looking foreign. Why stand a candidate who'll win less votes?"

But Cameron locked horns with traditional elements of the party by refusing to institute all-men shortlists. "Women need to be under the illusion they can be Tory MPs," said the rich cokehead, "otherwise they won't join us and give us money."

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.