The Provisional BBC is a paramilitary organisation which split from the BBC in October 2006 in protest at its toleration of poor writing and Liberal Democrats. The Provisional BBC regrets any civilian casualties resulting from posts contained within, but lays the blame squarely at the foot of the Tories. It is our duty to resist them, by any and all means necessary.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"Vote for a Tory" says Cameron

In an exclusive interview with Richard and Judy, David Cameron described Conservative politicians as “misunderstood” and called on the public to show them “love and understanding”.

The plans, dubbed “Vote for a Tory”, were derided by Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott. “The Tories don’t need love, they need a good smack in the face,” he derided.

Liberal Democrat Lynne Featherstone claimed there was nothing wrong with rich people per se. “Only a small minority of rich people join the Tory party,” said the multi-millionaire. Party leader Menzies Campbell suggested the government should focus more on preventative solutions. “We need to give Tories more to do, to stop them getting into politics in the first place” he said.

Home Secretary John Reid was in ebullient mood, describing Campbell as a “wuss”. “Preventative solutions are all very well and good,” he said, “but they do nothing to address the problem of Tories already in politics. They are menacing our communities and threatening our elderly.” David Cameron denied fears Tories would rob pensioners of their free television licenses and winter fuel allowances.

Speculation is rife that a “Tory behaviour bill” will be retrospectively included in the Queens Speech. The bill will include extra money for bowling greens and Charlie Chaplin appreciation societies, to keep Tories occupied. The bill will also grant local councils powers to fine Tories setting foot within 500 metres of a voter.

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.