The Provisional BBC is a paramilitary organisation which split from the BBC in October 2006 in protest at its toleration of poor writing and Liberal Democrats. The Provisional BBC regrets any civilian casualties resulting from posts contained within, but lays the blame squarely at the foot of the Tories. It is our duty to resist them, by any and all means necessary.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Going for pope

Tony Blair astounded Catholics worldwide by announcing he will stand for Pope when he steps down as Labour leader. He made the admission on a special episode of “Songs of Praise” after downing a pint of communion wine.

Speculation has long been rife Mr Blair will convert to his wife’s religion when pissing off the DUP no longer matters. But few expected him to challenge for Pope, if only because he is married with kids.

If he is successful, Mr Blair will be the first Labour Prime Minister to go on to the Vatican. But sycophants said if anyone could do it, Mr Blair could. “Nothing is too difficult for Tony,” said Environment minister David Miliband.

Prominent Muslims expressed concern after Blair described the Crusades as an “unfinished work”. “I have always believed in an interventionist God,” he explained. He also promised to ditch the doctrine of transubstantiation, which he described as “Catholicism’s Clause 4”.

The Pope is chosen by a council of leading Catholic bishops after prayer, fasting and bribery. Bookies made Blair favourite as former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi pledged support.

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.