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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Church to ditch "unfashionable" homophobia

The Church of England will ditch core beliefs to appeal to modern “yoof”. Doctrines set to go include homophobia, sexism and belief in God.

Religious boss Rowan Williams said he had been inspired by the Tories, who have become more popular since toning down their attacks on homosexuals, women and asylum seekers. “Homophobia and sexism have served the church well,” said the bearded wonder, “but it’s time to move on.”

But not everyone was convinced. Churchgoer Christine, a mortgage consultant and mother of two blamed “PC liberalism” for church decline. “British people are naturally prejudiced,” said the ordinary woman. “Traditional Islam is both sexist and homophobic and Islamic conversions are on the increase – this just isn’t the answer.”

Asked how the Church would deal with infamous passages like Phoenetians 3 verse 21, which calls women “unnatural” and an “abomination”, Williams was swift to reply. “We’ll ignore it,” he replied. “The Church has been ignoring passages on social justice for centuries; there’s no reason we can’t ignore other bits too.”

Leaked memos suggest Williams may be willing to compromise with more traditional elements of the Church. The Church would support equality in principle, but propose further limits on abortion in practice.

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.