The Provisional BBC is a paramilitary organisation which split from the BBC in October 2006 in protest at its toleration of poor writing and Liberal Democrats. The Provisional BBC regrets any civilian casualties resulting from posts contained within, but lays the blame squarely at the foot of the Tories. It is our duty to resist them, by any and all means necessary.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Boundary commission issue stark warning

Rising parliamentary deficits could lead to half of seats in the Commons being axed, the Boundary Commission have warned.

Parliamentary deficits have trebled after repeated rises in MPs salaries and expenses. The Boundary Commission caution failure to address the problem could mean crumbling Houses of Parliament, as vital repairs works are ignored.

The Prime Minister denied cuts were widespread, saying “Fewer than 2% of MPs will lose their seats.” But Tories accused him of “New Labour spin” after he admitted retired/dead MPs would not be replaced.

The admission is bad news for NOLS hacks, many of whom have worked for years to qualify as a Blairite PPC. Labour Students ringleader Karim Palant is holding last-ditch talks with the government, who deny NOLS hacks will be unable to find a seat, but admit they “may no longer be able to decide where they stand”.

Sitting MPs complained of increasing workloads after it emerged they could be forced to take on extra constituencies as the number of MPs is reduced. Parliamentary assistants hurriedly listed adverts for unpaid interns on w4mp.com in fear the extra burden would cut down on drinking time.

Even though everyone else is against the cuts, Mr Blair continued to describe the reforms as “crucially necessary for the future of Parliament, even if they neutralise Labour’s biggest most natural campaign issue ahead of the closest General Election in fifteen years.”

About Me

Back after an extended exile from blogging. Depressing to be in opposition but likely to prompt more posts here.